Supporting Children Through Big Emotions

Emotional ups and downs are a normal part of childhood, as young children are still learning how to understand and regulate their feelings. 

Whilst it’s difficult sometimes to go through, as parents our role isn't to stop our children’s big emotions, but to help them learn healthy ways to regulate them.

At The Nest Day Nursery we work with you to help your children manage and regulate their emotions.

Why do young children have tantrums?

Tantrums are a completely normal part of childhood. Your child’s brain is still developing and they don’t always have the language to explain how they feel. 

Hunger, tiredness and overstimulation can all contribute and even positive changes and exciting days can lead to emotional overload.

As children grow, they naturally want to become more independent. They may want to fasten their own coat, pull up a zip, pour a drink or read a favourite story themselves. When their skills haven't quite caught up with what they want to do, frustration can quickly build into a meltdown.

Helping children through tantrums

As mentioned, our role isn’t to stop our children's emotional behaviours, but instead to help them develop ways to regulate their feelings themselves. 

This could include: 

• Validate their feelings e.g. ‘I can see you’re feeling really cross’/ ‘I’m sure that must have been really disappointing for you’/ ‘it’s ok to feel angry about that’

• Keep language calm simple.

• Offer comfort if they want it - ask if they want a hug or if they want space or something else

• Keep everyone safe - remove them if there is a chance they might hurt themselves or someone else.

• Talk about what happened once they're calm—not during the meltdown.

If a child does regularly get emptional at nursery we always

• Ensure they are safe and not hurting themselves or anyone else

• Encourage them to use their words to explain how they are feeling, why they’re feeling this way, and what can help them

• Wait until the child is calm to discuss what happened and talk through how we might be able help them calm down next time

• Work with you to align our approaches and techniques with what they are finding successful at home

Remember - staying calm and comforting your child doesn't reinforce a tantrum; it helps them feel safe enough to begin learning how to regulate their emotions.

How we help building emotional wellbeing every day

There are many ways we work with your child to help develop their emotional wellbeing in fun ways. This includes:

• Ensuring predictable routines so they know what is happening next

• Providing plenty of outdoor play. - this gives children opportunities to explore, move their bodies, reduce stress and regulate their emotions. Being outside in natural light and close to nature can also have a calming effect.

• Read books about emotions, helping children to understand their different feelings e.g  such as the Colour Monster 

• Notice and praise children's efforts, perseverance and kindness, focusing on the process rather than the outcome.

• Model good behaviour by treating children and adults around us with respect

• Use group time and social situations to discuss with children things we need to remember, focusing on positives rather than negatives

• Observe children closely and respond to their individual needs and what helps them

• Discuss different ways we can stay calm - for example counting to 10, breathing in and out

• Ensure we build warm, nurturing key person relationships so children feel safe to express themselves

• Encourage independence and help children to learn to master that tricky zip, get the pen lid off, roll the ball to where they want it to go! 

Helping children name emotions

It's important that children understand what they are feeling, so they can begin to identify these feelings before they escalate.

We use books and games to discuss our emotions such as: 

• happy

• worried

• frustrated

• excited

• disappointed

• nervous

• proud

The more vocabulary children have, the easier it becomes for them to express themselves.

When should you seek extra support?

Whilst tantrums and other big emotions are a normal part of childhood, there are times when extra support might be needed. It is worth speaking with a health visitor, GP or to your key worker or nursery manager if you notice:

• persistent changes in mood

• extreme anxiety

• behaviour that's significantly affecting daily life

• concerns that continue over time

Remember…

Childhood is full of big feelings, new experiences and important milestones. With patience, consistency and caring adults around them, children gradually learn the skills they need to understand and manage their emotions. 

Supporting a child through big emotions though can feel exhausting. Remember that no parent stays calm every single time, and that's okay. What matters most is repairing relationships, offering reassurance and being there consistently.

Every child develops at their own pace, and learning to manage emotions takes time. With patient, caring adults by their side, children gradually build the confidence and skills they need to navigate life's ups and downs. If you ever have concerns or simply need some reassurance, we're always here to support you.